Relationship with a Thai partner, meeting your Thai partner
|The Duck & Friends in Pattaya|
Meeting your Thai partner
So the first step in any relationship is meeting each other. In Thailand there are 2 major obstacles for that. First of all the language. Most foreigners coming here do not speak or understand the Thai language. That would not be such a big problem, if it were not that most Thai do not speak or understand English or any other foreign language for that matter. Then there is the social & cultural difference, which makes it very difficult for most Thai to understand foreigners and thus to include foreigners in their circle of friends.
So where do the most foreigners meet their Thai partner? Well easy of course .... at places where many foreigners go .... places of entertainment like bars & disco or restaurants & hotels. The be honest I think that the most actually meet their Thai partner in a place like this. Let's be honest the chance that a girl in a bar speaks English is much bigger as a girl at the 7/11 or a local market. And many foreigners just go to this kind of places because that are the places where they do not have a language barrier. And that is a bit where also the problems of relationships are starting. No, I do not say "always" but many of the broken relationships did start with meeting each other in a bar or disco. And no I do not say that the fault of this kind of broken relationship is at the Thai side. Let's be honest the most people going to bars (both customers & employees) have at that moment other goals as finding a partner for an honest and long lasting relationship.
So what I try to say is that many foreigners, due to the language & cultural barrier, have the most chance of meeting a Thai partner from the less educated side of the Thai society. And no I do nat say that just that is the reason for broken relationships, but it makes succeeding much more difficult. And the other way around is just as true, many foreigners who meet their Thai partner in a bar in Thailand are also in their home country probably not the best educated ones. And again that does not have to be a reason for a broken relationship but ......
So are bar girls/boys bad girls/boys? No, but some have just another agenda and are very good actors.
So are bar going foreigners bad boys/girls? No, but some have just no other interest as going to a bar.
There is a saying "You can take a girl out of the bar, but you can not take the bar out of the girl". Well that as well goes for the customers.
Is the place where you did meet something to be ashamed of? It seems so, both for foreigners as for Thai. I hear many foreigner saying "I did meet my wife at the office" or "I did my wife at a restaurant". Of course it happens, but why I never hear "I did meet my wife at Nana plaza where she was working as Go-Go dancer"? At first meetings, most times the question "Where did you meet?" is politely ignored. Out of personal experience I know that relationships with a Thai partner can go very well, but also can be a total disaster. Not with standing the social background of both people involved in the relationship.
The bottom line
My personal advice would be to learn at least a little bit Thai so you can at least communicate a bit more with Thai in daily life. Try to avoid to hang out only at "foreigners" places, try to meet Thai in daily life. But well after meeting your maybe to be Thai partner there is another major problem at the horizon, a huge cultural difference.